Pokevert
by Uskius
Summary: Desperate for some kind of power, Beth Hanover performs a ritual involving certain Unown and changes the Pokemon world... Don't worry, just a one-shot.


Beth Hanover was deep in the ruins of Alph, carefully eyeing the diagram in the middle of the floor. Under the disguise of a Pokemon Ranger, she had entered; but those clothes had quickly been cast off in favor of buff-colored boyshorts and cropped tank top. She sat down in the lotus position and dipped the brush into the inkwell, and drew a strange symbol on her stomach. In her group, it was theorized to be the Unown all others had split from.

_And then some genious just had to call it "The Great Unown"..._ Beth thought, as she completed the symbol. _There. I've fasted for five days, have the prescribed Pokemon with me... it's time to do this._ "V, the E's, R and T, come out!" The five Unown exited their Pokemon balls, and hovered over the edge of the diagram. _They're all jumbled up..._ "V, you need to go between the E's- yes, like that... R, you're fine; T, you need to go to R's right. No, my right- thank you. Okay."

Beth drew in a deep breath, and began to exhale in pattern three. Beth's cult, the Alphabetologists, believed the Unown had a unique connection to "the power that's inside" all Pokemon, the power utilized in attacks such as Flamethrower and Thunderbolt. Some lucky initiates were chosen to become Linguists, a mystic who used certain combinations of Unown and "the power that's inside" to perform strange and potent rituals. This was the type of ritual Beth was going to perform. It had not been sanctioned by the Elder Linguists, and her fellow Alphabetologists believed Beth was on vacation to Unova.

Since her initiation several years ago as a teen, Beth had been entranced by the power of the Unown. Even to herself she admitted she was a prime target for cult recruitment, a lonely girl intersted in Pokemon and archeology. The initiation had empowered her, and slowly but surely she realized she wanted that power for herself.

_And this will do just that._ Using the power known as Aura, Beth reached out to the Unown, harmonizing with them. Going through breathing pattern seven, Beth focused her Aura and said the word that would change everything-

**-In Unova-**

Ash and company were in the middle of a friendly Pokemon battle. Ash had just won another Gym badge, and was riding high on his momentous win. Right now, Pikachu was battling Iris' Excadrill.

In the back of his mind, Ash could hear a faint sound like a bell approaching. In the middle of issuing a command, it swelled and he felt a chill go up his spine. "Use Thunderash, Ash ash!"

"Hellz yeah!" Pikachu answered. It was a few moments into charging up for Thunderbolt when it realized two things: one, it could no longer use its electric attacks; two-

Pikachu and Ash looked at each other. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Meanwhile, Excadrill was laughing his head off. "OH! Ha ha ha ha! You've no idea how many times I've dreamed of this happening! Hahaaa, yuss!" He saw his trainer Iris was as distressed as Ash and Pikachu. _Heh- I wonder if that's switched around too-_ "Yo Iris, attack that goofball Ash wit Drill Run!"

"Iri-... Iris, iris!" _I can't attack Ash! I..._

"Nah, uh-uh- I'm da trainer now, do it!" Excadrill shoved her towards Ash, and Iris reluctantly jogged a couple step and jumped forwards. To her supreme surprise, she hovered parallel to the ground and twisted around ever faster before colliding with Ash. They were left in an extremely awkard position for a minute, before Iris blushed and ran back to Excadrill.

"Hey!" Pikachu shouted, "Was was that for, you jerk?"

"It's called payback, lightning butt. And it is frickin' delicious."

"Oh, you're one to talk about payback!" Pikachu pointed at Excadrill. "Ash, hit that douchebag with Volt Tackle!"

"Ash... a- Ash..." The young boy sighed, and started running towards Excadrill. Amazingly, an aura of elecricity surrounded him and he jumped towards Iris' Pokemon...

_I can't let him hurt Excadrill!_ "Iri Iriiiiis!" Iris jumped in between Ash and Excadrill, taking the Volt Tackle at full force. They fell back several feet, again landing in a compromising position.

Meowth was watching through binoculars in a nearby tree. "Aww, young love. Looks like Volt Tackle is super effective..."

_Well, at least whatever that is hasn't effected us, _James thought. He shifted his position, ready to drop out of the tree and go. "James ja- j..."

"Jess-" _Aww, not me too! What the heck is this, it's almost like that time we swapped bodies!_

"Easy, easy." Jessie's Woobat said. "While everyone's distracted, it won't be hard to take that Pikachu like we're supposed to, right?"

"Yeah- well, wait..." Meowth answered. "Wouldn't it be the twerp instead?"

"Jessie jess-" _GAH this is annoying!- _"Jes jess?"

"Fine with me," Said Meowth. "Let's take 'em both!" Team Rocket silently fell from the tree, and crept towards the roadside- only to be interrupted by Cilan and his Pansage.

"I thought I heard something back there!" Pansage said, leaping out from behind a bush. "You're not going to sneak away this time! Cilan, Solar Beam!"

"Cilan lan!" Cilan popped up, his green hair drinking in sunlight. His eyes glowed golden-green, and when he opened his mouth a huge beam of light energy shot out...

**-Outside the Ruins of Alph-**

Cynthia had finished her tour of Unova and yearly stay at Caitlin's house. She still had nearly a week before she had to return to the league, and decided to traipse through the Ruins of Alph again.

_Dawn mentioned Arceus in her phone call, about it awakening... I forget how the diagram in the bottom room looks, I'll analyze it to see if there were any potential signs..._ Cynthia slipped inside the ruins and hummed a wordless tune as she walked among the Unown carvings. She wound along the long hall, turning this way and that, the Umbreon ear decorations in her hair glowing and lighting the way.

_Hmm? What are all those strange voices...?_ Cynthia rounded the corner, and found a very unexpected person circled by Unown. "Cynthia?"

"Beth?" _No, I mean-_ Beth Hanover motioned for one of the E Unown to speak for Cynthia. The other came to her side, saying, "Well, this is a surprise."

"To say the least. I had a feeling something odd had happened..." Cynthia shook her head. "Nevermind that for now. How many years has it been?"

Beth counted on her fingers. "A few too many. I haven't seen you since you left on your Pokemon journey."

The E Unown by Cynthia glanced up to her. _That thought can stay private,_ She sent. "I'm all the way over in Sinnoh, now. I still have that Gible with me; she's evolved into a Garchomp now."

"I don't know how you managed to survive training her," Unown E said for Beth. "She drove me nuts and I wasn't even her trainer!"

Cynthia smiled. "She's mellowed out a bit." Sweeping the room with her gaze, the E Unown asked for Cynthia, "So are all those Unown yours?"

"No, they- Cynthia... I think I made a mistake." Beth flipped her blond braid over her shoulder.

"So I'm guessing you're the one who did whatever... _this_ is." Cynthia said, gesturing to the Unown beside her.

"Yes," Beth nodded. "It worked somewhat _differently_ than I expected it to, I only wanted... I just..." Unown E sighed. "I was sick of feeling so _powerless_; all around me I saw these wonderful creatures who could fly and shoot lightning and breathe fire, and little Beth Hanover was just ignored or told the best she could hope for was to be a housewife like her mother... and that's when the Alphabetologists came to me. I wish I could fix this, but I'm afraid it's stuck this way."

The T Unown floated forwards. "You may not be able to Beth, but as it was intended to be done, so can it be reversed."

"So, you mean...?"

"I have determined that if you place yourself in the center of the diagram, we will perform the ritual much as you did and that should have the desired effect. If that is your wish."

Beth bobbed her head and walked over to sit in the middle of the ancient diagram. "It is."

"Then so shall it be done."

**-Back In Unova-**

Ash cleared his throat and offered his hand to help Iris up. "So... that was about the most awkward Iron Tail ever."

"Yeah." Iris took Ash's hand and pulled herself up. "I'm just glad everything's back to normal now." She coughed, and dusted off her shoulders and skirt. "This never happened?"

"Never." The young trainers shook on it.

"Good. Excadrill, return!" _And he's not coming out of the ball for a LONG time, after this._

Pikachu hopped onto it's usual place on Ash's shoulder. "Pika pika, pi!" _I heard something going on by the side of the road!_

"Huh? Over there?" _And where did Cilan go?_ Iris and Ash jogged over to where Pikachu had pointed. After stumbling through the bushes for a minute, they nearly bumped into Cilan and-

Ash's jaw dropped. "Cilan? Why are you carrying Jessie?"

"What? I'm not-" _Oh whoa whoa whoa, I am! _Quickly he put down the injured Team Rocket member. _SO, that Woobat of hers knew Attract..._ "I... I was... She got hurt during the battle, okay_?_"

_Always the gentleman. _"And where are James and Meowth?"

"Behind that bush there," Cilan said, pointing over his shoulder. He swallowed nervously. "I couldn't carry all three of them to the Pokemon Center, so..."

Jessie came to, and in a flash was stood by the bush where James and Meowth were. They jumped over it and joined her. "Prepare for trou- prepare for... why don't we just call this a draw?"

"Aw, but you didn't even finish your entrance song!" Ash objected.

"Too late!" Jessie held up a remote that had inexplicably appeared in her hand, and pressed a button. A Yanmega shaped helicopter swooped in, and a ladder dropped down. James and Meowth quickly started the climb up. _Well, I could at least say that. _"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" She turned and jumped up the rope, and took control in the cockpit.

_"Team Rocket's blasting off again!"_ "You know," James said, "I don't think that phrase will ever have the same meaning for me."

**The End**


End file.
